This virus is no joke. It is progressive and dangerous.
It will begin with one little plant from Wal-Mart...usually "just one for the north side of the house". You may not recognize the symptoms even when 90% of your snail mail consists of hosta catalogs, and most of your on-line time is at hosta sites...and weekends and "sick days" have all been used to visit every hosta nursery within 600 miles.
By the time the virus has taken firm hold, you will have reduced your yard to a safe area that can be enjoyed by your hostas. You will be trying to sell the kids' swing set to make more room for the hostas, and planning expanding or building a shadehouse.
Your computer will threaten to crash because of the huge amounts of hosta web sites: on-line catalogs, chat rooms, mail lists, hosta images...these bookmarks, along with your hosta notes and plant inventory fill all available space. You will "borrow" from your child's college fund to buy more memory. This virus will take over every room of your house - a bedroom or rec room turned into a plant room, grow carts, fertilizer, fungicides, books, magazines, catalogs...
You will begin to avoid anyone who doesn't grow hostas and will try to convert anyone who doesn't know how wonderful your hobby is. Your family will not recognize you unless your fingernails are dirty and hair in various stages of wetness. You will seriously consider a second mortgage to take advantage of catalog specials and auctions.
Depression will set in immediately after the last cut leaf show of the season.
There is no cure.
Thankfully, there are groups where you can talk to others that have been infected and who will understand you. With luck, they'll also know of a really good sale on hosta plants/divisions/TC liners... and offer advice when your hostas needs help.
[The foregoing has been modified from an item on the Akita List]
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