Seasonal Spirited Musings

It was the night before Christmas and in all of the flats
My hostas were growing along with the gnats
My light bills were soaring but my hopes remained high
That great hostas were sprouting in front of my eyes

*

At long last I settled, down for my nap
After struggling with labelers and the instructions for BAP
When down in the den there arose such a din That I ran to the doorway to fight my way in

*

And what to my wonderning eyes did appear
But 8 giant slugs disguised as reindeer
I blinked as I thought of my hot toddy with rum
And wondered what on earth I had done

*

To be seeing these creatures before me in splendor
Munching my seedlings so juicy and tender
In a flash they were gone like smoke up a chimney
Figures from spirits seen only but dimly

*

And then I discovered in the flats under lights
The joys of the season that very same night
There were red ones like apples, and gold ones like rings
Some appeared chocolate and others had wings

*

That night in my dreams there was Eleanor, Alex and Paul,
Mildred, Kevin, Mary and Ran, Tony and Roy, and nearly all
Of the famous were praising my sports and my crosses
With checks coming in which covered my losses

*

And when I awoke I returned to the scene
And certainly discovered the nature of dreams
Gone were the silvers, the golds, and the reds
And the chocolates were brown and the browns were all dead
...and the rest remained green

Possible morals:1) I should have used the rum on the gnats.2) I should have registered them before I went back to bed. 3) No drinks for the Millennium!

by Glen Williams
December 16, 1999